Christmas Countdown 2013 - 23 December

It's no secret that I love Christmas and it follows that not only do I love to write Christmas books but I will happily curl up with my kindle and a cuppa and read as many Christmas stories as I can!

RJ Scott's Christmas Books

Texas Christmas (Texas #5)
The Christmas Throwaway
Christmas in the Sun (Sapphire Cay #4)

Christmas books I have read and recommend this year...

A Home For Christmas, by Diane Adams

Merry Gentlemen by Josephine Myles

Blame It On The Mistletoe, Eli Easton

Home and Heart, Chris Quinton

Let It Snow, Minnesota Christmas, Book 1, Heidi Cullinan

Simon, Sex and the Solstice Stone, Kay Berrisford

Mr RJ's Crap Joke Section

It's a quiet post tonight as we have run out of authors to talk about for the anthology. I have however, found you some quite awful jokes tonight Laurie :). I will try again tomorrow to make them a bit more christmassy as we approach the big day. Tomorrow will be the last crap joke section *sniffle*.

Anyway, wiping away the tears, here goes tonights selection:-

Why are chemists great for solving problems?
They have all the solutions.

Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Just bought a dog off my local Blacksmith.
As soon as I got it home he made a bolt for the door

Shakespeare walks into a bar..........
Landlord - "I'm not serving're bard"

Wife told me to stop impersonating butter -
But i cant help it...Im on a roll

Elvis, my pet mouse, has just died.
He was caught in a trap.

The party was going well at my house until someone smashed the ouija board.
That's when all hell broke loose.

The wife was a bit frisky the other night and I was a bit tired so I reached over for a swig of my liquid viagra but missed and got a mouthful of tippex instead.
Nothing much happened at the time but later on I woke up with a huge correction.

Someone's just dumped a load of clay outside my front door.
I don't know what to make of it.

A farmer sends his sheepdog into a field, and tells him to count up how many sheep there were.
The dog returns and tells the farmer 'there's 40 sheep in that field'.
That's odd, says the farmer, there should only be 37....
The sheepdog says ...
'that's because I've rounded them up..!'

When I was young all the other kids used to bully me. They would cover me in whipped cream and put cherries on me.
It was tough growing up in the gateau.........

I never wanted to believe that my brother stole from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there.

I was doing some cooking last night and I got some herbs in my eye. I am now parsley sighted.

Its Caribbean hair day at work next Friday.
I'm dreading it.....

The doctor recently diagnosed me with 70`s fever. It flares up occasionally.

Two fish in a tank, when one turns to the other and says "you have any idea how to drive this?"

Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctors?
Because it wasn't peeling well.

Why did Shelock Holmes paint his hall-way yellow?
"A-lemon-entry my dear Watson!"

Whats a Wok?
Its something you throw at wabbits when you dont have a wifle!

Quite a selection of absolute rubbish there!!!:).  More tomorrow......

The Twenty Five Days of Christmas Competition

For the master post explaining prizes, etc, visit Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas. Don't forget every entry you make counts towards the grand prize on 25 December. So if you enter every day, you will have 24 chances for to win..

Today enter the competition to win a $10 Amazon voucher.

Good Luck!!!!!


  1. Love the Elvis joke! And I'm laughing and hubby is groaning, well done Mr RJ.

  2. I think Throwaway will remain my favorite for a long time to come. I even reread it in the summer when I needed a pick-me-up. Thanks for all the joy it has provided.

    Bravo! "standing ovation" Mr RJ you outdid yourself, "growing up in the gateau" snort and snicker!

    What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
    Santa's burps (this was courtesy of my grandson)

    What do you call a snowman in the summer?
    A puddle

    Why did the candy cane cross the road?
    It wanted to get a licking

    What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
    Jungle bells, jungle bells

    1. Thank you Nancy... that is a lovely thing to say... i will almost forgive you for the jokes... rofl