Jack, Scribble and the Great Dildo Incident - free read

PWP that suddenly morphed into humour and angst... Something I wrote a while back that I pulled out and rewrote... a coffee break story (edited by me, which inevitably means absolutely nothing!). Inspired by a true story

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"Dan—yel. Fuuuuck."

Sweat collected at the base of Hayden’s throat, he had never felt anything like it, nothing as big or as unyielding inside him. It took his lover five seconds to click the cock ring in place, and almost half an hour to slide the toy fully inside Hayden. Each small turn, each push, was accompanied by kisses on Hayden’s inner thighs and more porn talk that sent Hayden wild. Daniel kiss biting his hip bones, all the time keeping up a litany of words, encouragement.

"You can take more Hayden. C’mon baby-such a good boy for me."

Daniel twisted and stroked, his free hand stripping Hayden’s dick, the movements slow and nowhere near enough to get Hayden off, the burning, the exquisite pleasure pain was his single point of focus.

"How close are you Hay? How much more can you take? Can I push more inside." Daniel twisted, again, the edge of the toy smooth and touching Hayden's sweet spot so softly so gently, too fucking much. Every so often he would add more lube, sliding the toy out almost to the tip and then pushing back in, today he had said, was about the pain of pleasure not the pleasure in pain.

"Nuh-- " It was impossible to form words, and Hayden couldn’t control his breathing, waves of pleasure leaving a sheen of sweat on his body.

"I love you Hayden - under me - so fucking close." Daniel flicked at the switch and a few seconds of vibration against the p-spot caused Hayden to arch off the bed, his shoulders and heels the only thing touching the sheets.

"I want—touch you—Dan—" He wanted to force the toy in, grab at Daniel and kiss him deep, sink into the taste, but the bastard knew that and the soft silk wrapping his wrists to the headboard were clever and tight enough to stop him.


"Do you wanna come? You want me to make you—or I'll maybe leave you—leave it inside you, turn it on - leave you here?"

"Dannnnnnn." Fuck, no, no…

"Hayden, shit, so fucking gorgeous," Daniel swallowed Hayden’s length sucking, releasing, rolling Hayden’s balls with his free hand then deftly releasing the cock ring. With a few more strokes from Daniel, Hayden arched up into his mouth, whiting out and coming hard down Daniel’s throat. He wanted to say something, something lucid, something profound, god, I love you Daniel I love you, but all that came out was one word fuck.

To be fair, being on the edge of consciousness and all, meant that words were fairly redundant.


***


"The realtor will be here in ten minutes - I don’t get why you agreed to baby sit when you knew we had viewings," Hayden stage whispered.

"Calm down Hayden, Meg had an emergency. Elliot, go play whilst I help Uncle Hayden to put candles out. Lego is under the bed." He gently lowered the tow headed three year old down on to his chubby legs, watching as he toddled away from them and towards the bedrooms and his precious Lego.

There was a knock on the door and Hayden visibly paled as he went to the door to let the first strangers into his and Daniel’s home.

"I’ll be with Elliot" Daniel said softly, giving his lover’s arm a quick reassuring squeeze. Neither of them really wanted to leave this house, but they needed to move where Hayden’s work sent them.

"Elliot?" Daniel called up the stairs and laughed as the small boy started to slide down on his bottom with a box of brightly coloured bricks on his lap. "Let’s go in the Den yeah?"

"I did help Uncle 'Ayden with candles" Elliot said proudly and reaching the bottom of the stairs handed Daniel the Lego.


***


"I suggest you, er…maybe…tidy up your bedroom…for the next viewing" the realtor said, running to her car, and taking off up the street like a bat out of hell.

"What the fuck?" Hayden said bemused, Daniel followed Hayden up the stairs, stopping so suddenly at their open bedroom door that Daniel walked right into him.

"What?" Daniel asked irritated at the whole sudden stopping thing.

"Holy shit" Hayden managed to get out, "Holy fucking, fuck" he added, still not with the moving out of the way thing, his six four muscled body a definite block to vision.

"What?"

Hayden just moved to one side and what Daniel saw was such a shock, that the burst of hysteria that bubbled from his mouth was loud and sudden. On the bedside cabinet; one pair of handcuffs, one economy pump dispenser of lube, one pack of hygiene wipes - and one god damn enormous dildo.

"See Uncle 'Ayden," said a small proud voice, "I did do candles for you."


***


"I’ve hidden it all" Hayden said confidently and Daniel nodded, his eyes still red from crying tears of hysterical laughter, still unable to properly draw a breath, "put it behind the spare dog food in the guest room."

"Behind the…" and then Daniel lost it again, falling back on the bed, "hell I didn’t want to move anyway" Daniel said in between laughing. Hayden looked at him questioningly.

"I don’t either," he said softly, but it was lost in Daniel’s laughter.


***


Viewing two was fine, as was three, four and five. It was six that was the straw that finally broke the camels back.

"Mr Austin, Mr McKenzie, this is impossible" their realtor said haughtily. "The guest bedroom, it’s--" she huffed and left in a flurry of suit and heels.

Hayden looked at Daniel. Shit. The dogs. They had left the freaking dogs in the freaking guest room, what the hell had they done? Hayden reached the door first. It was a battle scene.

One set of handcuffs—twisted in Jack’s tail.

One economy dispenser of lube with the lid off—slick and slippery and soaking into the deep red carpet.

One pack of hygiene wipes—wipeless.

And one dildo—in pieces—chewed to fuck. Batteries and innards spread around the floor.

They exchanged looks of shock that with sudden clarity turned to doubled over laughing, both falling back onto the spare bed and alternately setting each other off in fits of belly laughs.

"It's not like I wanted to sell the house or anything," Hayden finally managed to say when he managed to catch his breath.

"Me neither." Daniel looked suddenly very serious and causing Hayden to stop laughing immediately. "I like it here."

"Then why exactly are we moving?" The question was rhetorical, their relationship was becoming more and more difficult with each year of him travelling that passed. He was lonely away from Dan, they needed to be together.

"Hay, we need to move, you being in the City, and me here—I can't handle having to spend so much time apart."

"What if I don’t want to move? This is our home."

"Did you not hear the whole no more time apart thing?"

"I could leave my job, problem solved, no more time apart." It was a simple solution and it wasn’t as if this was the first time Hayden had though it.

"Hay, no, your job is important to you, you've worked so hard to make partner."

"I don’t even like my job." Hayden said miserably. Ten years at the same firm, trying for partner, and he was so over the nine to six which had somehow turned into eighty hour weeks. "I miss you every time I leave for work."

"It's not like we don’t have savings to fall back on." Daniel sounded thoughtful, and Hayden clung to the hope of possibility that he sensed was in his husband.

"I want to set up on my own, everyone needs a good lawyer," he said quickly. "You could build me a home office in the yard. I could be at home more. No more commuting and weeks apart."

"I think we need to talk."

And then they talked for hours. Lying tangled in each other’s arms, exchanging lazy possessive kisses, until the dogs had to remind them it was time for eating and walking and other sorts of dog type stuff.

"So we agree. We stay put. Phone the realtor and tell her we are taking it off the market." Hayden summarised with a smile.

"Agreed. Tho' you may want to wait until she is over the shock of what she saw."

Simple as that they were laughing again until laughing turned to kissing and kissing turned to licking and biting and sucking.

This was perfect, just being together and making love in their home.

Thing is, Hayden thought at a random moment when Daniel's mouth travelled south, they really needed to replace that dildo.

And this time they would keep it away from small kids and animals.



The End