Showing posts with label Christmas 2013. Show all posts

Home and Heart, Chris Quinton, 5/5

Ben is taking care of old Mrs Bonney's house and dogs while she's away over Christmas.
Black sheep of his family, Adam has no money, no job, nowhere to go, except his grandmother's house. When he learns an unpleasant truth about his father, Ben is there for him.

 The Book

It's December in the Cotswolds, deep in the heart of England, and Ben Elliot of Home-Safe House & Pet Sitting is looking after Mrs Bonney’s home and two dogs while the elderly lady is away for two months recovering from an operation. 

When her black-sheep grandson, Adam Prescott, turns up on the doorstep, Ben has to take in the stray human as well. Adam, hurting and betrayed by family, boyfriend and Fate, needs to have his faith in others restored, and Ben decides he is the one to do it.

Having gone through an acrimonious split with his boyfriend, Adam has no home, no money, no job and nowhere to go, except his grandmother's house. The son of an abusive, violent father, there's a lot of anger and resentment in him, demons he must exorcise. When he learns an unpleasant truth about his father, Ben helps him come to terms with it, and to find a new direction for his life - together, Ben hopes. But then Adam's ex-boyfriend shows up, offering him the world on a platter if only Adam will come back to him.

Christmas may not be a time of celebration for Ben.

Buy Links

Amazon (UK) | Amazon (US) | All Romance E-Books

Review 

If you haven't tried a book by Chris Quinton, then this is the one. Chock full of Christmas spirit, this story takes time to build a real relationship between Adam and Ben. Add in two incredibly gorgeous and cute dogs and you have the perfect winter holiday set in one of my most favourite parts of England, The Cotswolds. The cover art for this book is absolutely stunning.

p..s this was a book previously released by another publisher.


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Competition Winner - 24 December 2013

Christmas Competition Winners

Grand Prize winners here

24th December 2013

Our twentyfourth winner is

Natalija - natalija.shk***@gmail.com

Congratulation Natalija. You have one a copy of Building the Pack signed by Amber Kell, Stephani Hecht and RJ Scott. I will be in contact with you shortly to arrange delivery.

23rd December 2013

Our 23rd of December was  Theresa T - terri****@aol.com who won a $10 Amazon voucher.

22nd December 2013

The 22nd of December winner was garnetyuna - aerith****@yahoo.it who won a signed copy of The Christmas Throwaway and RJ Pen.

21st December 2013

The 21st of December winner was StormyMonday - st********@gmx.net who selected the eBook Crooked Tree Ranch.

20th December 2013

The 20th of December winner was Bronwyn - bee******@gmail.com who won a $10 Amazon voucher.

19th December 2013

The 19th of December winner was Hanne - gau***@yahoo.com who won the Harrods Teddy and the RJ Pen.

18th December 2013

The 18th of December winner was Trisha H - trisham**h******@gmail.com who requested first sight of The Agent and the Model eBook.

17th December 2013

The 17th of December winner was Chris M  - clm******1@gmail.com who won a $10 Amazon voucher.

16th December 2013

The 16th December winner was Michelle D - mish-m*****@hotmail.com who selected Texas Christmas as her free eBook.

15th December 2013

The 15th of December winner was Brandilyn C -  zig*****@gmail.com who won a signed copy of New York Christmas and a RJ Pen.

14th December 2013

The 14th of December winner was Denise D -5boo*****@gmail.com who won a $10 Amazon Voucher.

Hollis Shiloh also ran a competition on this day to win two free eBooks from her back catalogue. The winner was
Emese L  - emese****@yahoo.com.

13th December 2013

Our 13th of December winner was Paul W - Paul.wri******@comcast.net who won a set of Sanctuary cards and a RJ Pen.

12th December 2013

The 11th of December winner was Trix who won a $10 Amazon Voucher.

11th December 2013

The 11th of December winner was Nongnuch S who selected first sight of the Texas Christmas eBook as her prize.

10th December 2013

The 10th of December winner was Lauren L who won a £6 Amazon voucher.

 9th December 2013

The 9th of December winner was Michelle M who won a signed set of Sanctuary cards and a RJ Pen.

8th December 2013

The 8th of December winner was Juli-Anna D who won a $10 Amazon Voucher.

7th December 2013

The 7th of December winner was Debra G who won a signed colour RJ doodle, ten signed postcards and a RJ pen.

6th December 2013

 The 6th of December winner was Alina P who won a signed copy of New York Christmas and a RJ Pen.

5th December 2013

The 5th of December winner was Charlotte M who selected The Vampire Contract eBook as her prize.

4th December 2013

The 4th of December winner was Helén J who won the Sanctuary Postcards and RJ Pen.

3rd December 2013

The 3rd of December winner was Nancy S who won a $10 Amazon Voucher.

2nd December 2013

The 2nd of December winner was Lisa B who requested the updated version of Jesse's Christmas which is due for release on the 21st December.

1st December 2013

The 1st of December winner was Jenn W who won a signed copy of Supernatural Bounty Hunters.


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Christmas Countdown 2013 - 25 December

To family, friends, readers, authors, and anyone else I know!


HAPPY CHRISTMAS 

 &

SEASONS GREETINGS


From RJ and Mr RJ, B and Matt

XXXXXXXXX



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Christmas Countdown 2013 - 24 December


The clock has ticked over to Christmas Eve in England and I am sure that we will be going to bed VERY late tonight depending on when our son goes to sleep...

This post is my thank you post. I would love to name every single person who has touched my life this year but I can't because I will miss someone out and I want you all to know that I love every single thing that people have commented on, or sent me, or reviewed.

Thank you then, to the usual suspects.

There are a few people I have depended on this year far more than they deserved, and for them I give a special thank you.

For Meredith, and her gorgeous artwork. Meredith rocks, and I love her big time. Squishes.

For Chris Quinton, who is just *there* always. For her unfailing support... hugs...

For Amber. Together we have had the weirdest year with the lowest lows and the highest highs, and I will never forget the absolute support I had this year from you. Divas rule.

For Erika, my editor and one of the nicest people I can be horrible to. Thank you for making this weird Brit look good. And to Stacia my minion who proofs my scribbles.

To my Brit girls... Sue Brown, Meredith, SA Meade, Chris Q, Kay Berrisford... xxx

For eXtasy and Totally Bound who said yes when I subbed to them. Thank you. Angela and Emmy, your covers rock, Stacey, Jay, Tina, Nicky... you all rock.

For BitterGrace and her beautiful covers for the Sanctuary series and for making me NY Christmas and Throwaway. Thank you.

Lastly for Mr Rj, who works damn hard to make me look efficient... love you babe xxxx

Mr RJ's Last Crap Joke Section

 So here we have the final selection of crap jokes for you. Now before we get down to business, I will take a minute to let you know how the competition will run over the next few days.

Today we have a special prize of Building The Pack signed by Amber Kell, Stephani Hecht and RJ. This is a pretty rare prize and was signed by all three at Gay Rom Lit this year.  So RJ and I can take a break, we will leave this competition running until 11:00AM GMT Christmas Day.  You can only enter once, but this will give people who haven't entered the chance to join the competition.  We will annouce the winner for this and the five main prizes on the 27th December.  Good luck to everyone who enters.

Now, back to the section.  Firstly, a few posted by my sidekick Nancy :-

What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
Santa's burps (this was courtesy of my grandson)

What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A puddle

Why did the candy cane cross the road?
It wanted to get a licking

What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
Jungle bells, jungle bells

What do One Direction and my Christmas tree have in common?
They both have ornamental balls.

What does Santa bring all the naughty boys and girls?
A pack of batteries with the disclaimer of "toys not included" on the package.

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?
The snowblower was coming down the block

How many letters are there in the alphabet?
25, because the Angel said 'Noel'

and finally, a last selection from me. These were hard to find after 23 days of jokes!!!

I came home to find someone had smashed my doors in and everything had gone. 
What kind of person does something like that to an advent calendar? 

My dad used to work in a tiddlywink factory. But he didn’t like it. He said it was counter productive. 

What does the Queen do when she burps? 
She issues a royal pardon.

Last Christmas someone stole my present. I’ve spent this year living in the past! 

Why is a foot a good Christmas present?
It makes a great stocking filler

What do you call a chicken in a shell suit?
An egg

Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin.

Why did the nurse tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
She didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills.

What do Santa's elves do after school?
Their gnomework! 

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing, it was on the house.

What did the big candle say to the little candle?
Im going out tonight

So there we have it.  Thank you again to everyone who provided jokes and encouragement. I apologise unreservedly to your poor partners and leave them in knowledge that this is finally over.  Of course RJ and I will be pulling crackers on Christmas Day, so if I find any funny ones, I'll let you all know :).

The Twenty Five Days of Christmas Competition

For the master post explaining prizes, etc, visit Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas. Don't forget every entry you make counts towards the grand prize on 25 December. So if you enter every day, you will have 24 chances for to win..

Today enter the competition to win Building the Pack signed by Amber Kell, Stephani Hecht, RJ Scott and a RJ Pen.

Good Luck!!!!!


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Christmas Countdown 2013 - 23 December

It's no secret that I love Christmas and it follows that not only do I love to write Christmas books but I will happily curl up with my kindle and a cuppa and read as many Christmas stories as I can!

RJ Scott's Christmas Books

Texas Christmas (Texas #5)
The Christmas Throwaway
Christmas in the Sun (Sapphire Cay #4)

Christmas books I have read and recommend this year...

A Home For Christmas, by Diane Adams

Merry Gentlemen by Josephine Myles

Blame It On The Mistletoe, Eli Easton

Home and Heart, Chris Quinton

Let It Snow, Minnesota Christmas, Book 1, Heidi Cullinan

Simon, Sex and the Solstice Stone, Kay Berrisford






Mr RJ's Crap Joke Section

 It's a quiet post tonight as we have run out of authors to talk about for the anthology. I have however, found you some quite awful jokes tonight Laurie :). I will try again tomorrow to make them a bit more christmassy as we approach the big day. Tomorrow will be the last crap joke section *sniffle*.

Anyway, wiping away the tears, here goes tonights selection:-

Why are chemists great for solving problems?
They have all the solutions.

Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Just bought a dog off my local Blacksmith.
As soon as I got it home he made a bolt for the door

Shakespeare walks into a bar..........
Landlord - "I'm not serving you..........you're bard"

Wife told me to stop impersonating butter -
But i cant help it...Im on a roll

Elvis, my pet mouse, has just died.
He was caught in a trap.

The party was going well at my house until someone smashed the ouija board.
That's when all hell broke loose.

The wife was a bit frisky the other night and I was a bit tired so I reached over for a swig of my liquid viagra but missed and got a mouthful of tippex instead.
Nothing much happened at the time but later on I woke up with a huge correction.

Someone's just dumped a load of clay outside my front door.
I don't know what to make of it.

A farmer sends his sheepdog into a field, and tells him to count up how many sheep there were.
The dog returns and tells the farmer 'there's 40 sheep in that field'.
That's odd, says the farmer, there should only be 37....
The sheepdog says ...
'that's because I've rounded them up..!'

When I was young all the other kids used to bully me. They would cover me in whipped cream and put cherries on me.
It was tough growing up in the gateau.........

I never wanted to believe that my brother stole from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there.

I was doing some cooking last night and I got some herbs in my eye. I am now parsley sighted.

Its Caribbean hair day at work next Friday.
I'm dreading it.....

The doctor recently diagnosed me with 70`s fever. It flares up occasionally.

Two fish in a tank, when one turns to the other and says "you have any idea how to drive this?"

Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctors?
Because it wasn't peeling well.

Why did Shelock Holmes paint his hall-way yellow?
"A-lemon-entry my dear Watson!"

Whats a Wok?
Its something you throw at wabbits when you dont have a wifle!

Quite a selection of absolute rubbish there!!!:).  More tomorrow......

The Twenty Five Days of Christmas Competition

For the master post explaining prizes, etc, visit Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas. Don't forget every entry you make counts towards the grand prize on 25 December. So if you enter every day, you will have 24 chances for to win..

Today enter the competition to win a $10 Amazon voucher.

Good Luck!!!!!



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Christmas Countdown 2013 - 22 December

Favourite Christmas Movies

Love Actually - so much yummy British Goodness set at Christmas where Hugh Grant is an awesome single Prime Minister.

Fab film

And very poignant with the sister who has the additional needs brother.

IMDB entry - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0314331/













The last but by no means least featured Anthology Author is

Meredith Russell with her story Spiced Apple and Cinnamon

Unfortunately, we do not have any blurb for this story. Instead, spend some time looking round the blog at her fine artwork that is on display in many locations.

 22/12/2013 - 11:21AM. Found it on Meredith's blog -

It's Christmas morning but Keegan can't bring himself to enjoy the day. Not just yet. Not until Alex is home and safe and in his arms and they can celebrate the day together.

Meredith's Special Christmas Memory

I love Christmas. I love the colours, the smells, the food, and if we're lucky, we get a sprinkle of snow.

No matter what you believe in, for me Christmas is all about family, spending time with them, sharing gifts and laughs, and lots of food and drink.

Just lazing around and being together.

Info on Meredith Russell

Meredith can be found on her blog here.

Not read it yet? What are you waiting for? Download the anthology for FREE at Love Lane Books or All Romance eBooks.

Mr RJ's Crap Joke Section

Last night turned out to be a little bit more than a few alcoholic beverages. Three pints of beer, five southern comfort and lemonades later I stumbled to the door at 2:00AM in the morning. In true self employed style I even managed to answer a Love Lane Website query that had come in. Mind you, I had to rewrite the email a couple of times and the keys on my laptop were not where they usually are!**!??  The first pub we visited had one really cool feature. They let dogs in! The woof woof type :). Now I love dogs and I think myself and Jack may have to frequent this drinking establishment. He will love the fuss all the customers and staff seem to make with the dogs.

Anyway I'm prattaling, so back to the business in hand.  Tonights selection comes from a car forum I belong to.  The thread is entitled "Crap Jokes" so I think they qualify for this section and what a bumper selection!

Bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday but it went off before I could eat it!

Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball.
It was a lovely service.

I've just found out who was nicking my beetroot. I caught him red handed.

I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.

I was attacked by some little ginger boy doing martial arts.
It turned out to be the carroty kid!

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!!
Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.. 

A book just fell on my head.
I have only my shelf to blame.

Why did the fungi leave the party?
Because there wasn't mushroom.

Santa says to Mrs. Claws "Any idea what the weather will be like for Christmas?". 
Mrs Claws: "Look's like rain, dear"

I told my friend not to dig beneath me to find gold but he went ahead and undermined me.

My mate has just moved in with his girlfriend and her massive magazine collection. When she refused to part with them he left her.  She had too many issues.

The universe implodes. No matter.

Two atoms are walking down the street.
Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure??"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time....

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.  

More from Nancy :-

How many reindeer does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Eight. One to screw in the bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down.

What do you call a scary reindeer?
A cariboo

What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?
Anything you want. He can't hear you

So there we go for another day.  A couple of  thank you's.  Thank you to Laurie P for asking for a Mr RJ section for crap jokes. Are you mad Laurie?  You wish this infliction to continue?  I do come across some bad ones every so often so I may be back on the odd occasion to make you all groan!  Thanks to Susan for the link.

Until tomorrow.....

The Twenty Five Days of Christmas Competition

For the master post explaining prizes, etc, visit Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas. Don't forget every entry you make counts towards the grand prize on 25 December. So if you enter every day, you will have 24 chances for to win..

Today enter the competition to win a signed copy of The Christmas Throwaway paperback and a RJ Scott Pen.

Good Luck!!!!!


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Christmas Countdown 2013 - 21 December



My favourite Christmas Song, 1st of 10.

*The Christmas we get, we deserve*

My absolute favourite and best loved Christmas song may not even make any of your lists. I am not sure some of you would even know the song.

Coming in as my best song is Greg Lake, with I Believe In Father Christmas.

The fact he wrote it about how Christmas is commercialised - yet it's an acknowledged Christmas song... is that irony? ROFL... I don't know... I just LOVE it...


Today's featured Anthology Author is

Amber Kell with the story Christmas Tree Magic

Spend the holidays with the Moon Pack and see how they spend their Christmas.

Amber's Special Christmas Memory

My favorite part of Christmas is the night before. My husband and I wrap the presents ahead of time so on Christmas Eve we set them under the tree, have a bit of egg nog and watch Christmas movies while we discuss which present our children will enjoy the most. It's a nice quite couple time before the madness of Christmas morning.

Info on Amber Kell

Amber can be found on her blog here or you can Facebook here.

Not read it yet? What are you waiting for? Download the anthology for FREE at Love Lane Books or All Romance eBooks

Mr RJ's Crap Joke Section

I'm writing this section earlier today as I'm out on the sauce tonight. The "sauce" being a slang term in England for a few alcholic drinks...hic.... This maybe a dangerous situation because when I return home at some ungodly hour in the morning, I will need to adjust the blog. Stuff like closing the previous days competition, updating the links. Lets hope its not a mess tomorrow morning because I might be!

Sauce leads me nicely into the subject of todays jokes which is food jokes. I went a searching, found some but they are also a bit rude so double result.  Oh and dinner round with Sharon S sounds just fantastic.  Here's the jokes :-

Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?
Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.

What did the Egg say to the boiling water?
It's going to take awhile to get me hard, I just got layed by some chick!

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? 
Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? 
I want you inside me!

 My mum laughed at me when I told her I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. .

You should have seen her face when I drove pasta :)

Why did the can crusher quit his job? 
Because it was soda pressing.

What did one snowman say to the other snowman? 
Can you smell Carrot?

Fish taco says "why don't you want to taco about it"? 
And the nacho says cause "I'm nacho friend"

Santa went to the Doctors with a problem.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Santa: I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my bottom!
Doctor: Well your in luck because I've got just the cream for that!

and finally some more from Nancy :-

How do you tell the difference between snowmen and snowladies?
Snowballs

What is Santa's nationality?
North Polish

What do you get if you deep fry Santa?
Crisp Kringle

The Twenty Five Days of Christmas Competition

For the master post explaining prizes, etc, visit Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas. Don't forget every entry you make counts towards the grand prize on 25 December. So if you enter every day, you will have 24 chances for to win..

Today enter the competition to win a free RJ Scott e-book from RJ's backlist, or first sight of a new upcoming book. Amber Kell also has a competition running at her blog to win a $25 Amazon Voucher. Click here to enter

Good Luck!!!!!


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Christmas Countdown 2013 - 20 December

Food at Christmas

There are a huge amount of traditions at Christmas and a lot of them are based around food. The turkey on Christmas Day, with roast potatoes, parsnips, bacon wrapped sausages, brussel sprouts and gravy. There is always too much food! Here are my top five favourite Christmas foods:

1. Christmas Dinner - the whole thing... a plateful of wonderfullness (yes I know that isn't a word).



2. Tangerines/Satsumas.... easy and quick to peel and devour, next to strawberries these are my favourite fruits.

3. Bacon Wrapped Sausages... or as we call them here, pigs in blankets... OMG... I have no words as to how much I love these little mouthfuls of heaven!

4. Cold meat and pickles. Sighs at the memories of my Grans home-pickled onions that was so hot you could only eat one.

5. Selection pack chocolate... Sighs... I will never be skinny... the kids have to hide their selection packs in case I happen to come across them... rofl.

What is your favourite Christmas food?

Today's featured Anthology Author is

Me :) with the story Deefur and the Great Misletoe Incident

Christmas Eve is here and with it comes ice and snow. Cameron Jackson has no control over the grief that consumes him at this time of year, but this time he wants things to be different. With a ring in his pocket and love in his heart he wants to make new memories that will replace the last pieces of ice he has inside him.

Cameron loves Jason, wants forever with Jason, but it takes Deefur and some mistletoe to have Cameron finally saying the right things to Jason at the right time.

The story of how Deefur, after the great mistletoe incident, ends up with the best bed in the house.

RJ's Special Christmas Memory (like you haven't heard enough about my Christmases already :p)

Christmas for me is all about family. I love autumn and the way it moves slowly into frosty mornings in November and December. There is a magic in the air that you only get in the Christmas season.

Info on RJ Scott

Contact RJ Scott ummmm.... your already here....Comment at the bottom.......

Not read it yet? Download the anthology for FREE at Love Lane Books or All Romance eBooks

Mr RJ's Crap Joke Section

After a few days running this section, I always tried to tailor the jokes to what had followed on the previous days comments.  Imagine my disappointment yesterday when I noted Nancy's comments about problems she was having with her computer and the fact I could not find any decent crap jokes on this subject.  Geeky jokes were two a penny.  Here's an example :-

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a hardware issue.

See what I mean, way too Geeky.  So again, imagine my absolute delight when the same person, Nancy, the stalwart of the comments section posted this little ditty :-

Dropped my computer in the ocean, now there's a Dell rolling in the deep

Great play on words, current (Adele was awarded an MBE today) and just the right side of geeky.  Right on the money Nancy!!!!

Anyway, I've rambled on way too long.  Back to the action starting with the rest of Nancy's jokes

What do you call a kid that doesn't believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus

Why is Santa so jolly?
He knows where all the naughty girls live.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?
Santa stopped at 3 hos

and some more I've found....

Where do ghosts send their laundry?
To the dry-screamers

What was the first motorised vegetable?
The horseless cabbage

Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on Ebay?
Because they were two deer

What did Santa do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker

Why is it so cold on Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrrrrrrr!

More tomorrow.....

The Twenty Five Days of Christmas Competition

For the master post explaining prizes, etc, visit Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas. Don't forget every entry you make counts towards the grand prize on 25 December. So if you enter every day, you will have 24 chances for to win..

Today enter the competition to win a $10 Amazon voucher.

Good Luck!!!!!



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Christmas Countdown 2013 - 19 December



My favourite Christmas Music 2nd of 10

I recall sitting in my previous boyfriend's kitchen and listening to Radio 1 and a interview with Midge Ure and Bob Geldof. Thet talked about this charity song and how they hoped it sold well enough to send some money to Africa. The rest, as they say, is history.

This is by far the best version of this song, and any other *Aid* songs that followed... Sting, Bono, Phil Collins, Simon Le Bon, ... amazing line up and somewhat controversial lines... When Bono sings *thank god it's them instead of you*... amazing, and so powerful.

This song sends shivers down my spine.

I remember owning a copy of that newspaper with the pictures of them all.

1984. Jeez.

Today's featured Anthology Author is

JC Wallace with the story Waiting for Snow

Dain's life is filled with nothing but pain. Can a man without hope find a  Christmas miracle and learn to believe in love?

JC's Special Christmas Memory

One of my best Christmas memories centers on what happened after going to bed on Christmas Eve. My brother and sister and I would whisper to one another about hearing something on the roof or sleigh bells or someone downstairs. The excitement of waiting for Santa to come was just as exciting as seeing the gifts below the tree.

Info on JC Wallace

Contact JC Wallace on the blog here.

Not read it yet? Download the anthology for FREE at Love Lane Books or All Romance eBooks

Mr RJ's Crap Joke Section

I will be honest. When I first started this section (well got permission from RJ), I didn't expect it to last for very long. Not only has it lasted, but people viewing have enjoyed reading the bad jokes I have been posting. Only five more days to go for this section but I now have a loyal following who post jokes in the comments for me. Here are a few from Sharon S.

If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
Subordinate Claus

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What's an ig?
An eskimo's home without a loo!

Thank you Sharon :).

and so more from me (though I am running out :) ).

Have you heard the joke about the broken pencil? 
There's no point in telling you

How did the human cannonball lose his job?
He got fired

What award goes to designers of door knockers?
A no bell prize

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
nothing, it just gave off a little wine

What do you get when you cross a ghost with a packet of crisps?
Snacks that go munch in he night

When is a boat like a pile of snow?
when it's adfrift

Why did Santa hand in his resignation?
Because there was no Claus(e) in his contract

More tomorrow......

Isn't he cute?
The Twenty Five Days of Christmas Competition

For the master post explaining prizes, etc, visit Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas. Don't forget every entry you make counts towards the grand prize on 25 December. So if you enter every day, you will have 24 chances for to win..

Today enter the competition to win a Harrod's teddy bear and a RJ Scott pen.

Good Luck!!!!!







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Christmas Countdown 2013 - 18 December



The Christmas Special

Once Upon A Time in the UK we only had three TV channels. You could forget BBC2, it was boring… So that left you with BBC and ITV.

Which meant that there was a huge fight to get the Christmas viewing figures. First there was the Queen’s Speech then there was the Christmas Film… Always something along the lines of the latest James Bond film, or The Wizard of Oz, or even to my great excitement Star Wars.

But really, what stays with me the most is two comedians that for me epitomised Christmas Day… Morecombe and Wise.

The video above is their classic Breakfast sketch. Of course now we have Doctor Who, or Downton Abbey, but for me Morecombe and Wise were so much a part of my Christmas evening, eating grapes with my Gran and Granddad, with special Christmas sweets like Turkish delight and candied orange slices.

So many memories.

Today's featured Anthology Author is

Aisling Mancy with the story Joyeux Noël

Noel Sauvageau is barely thirty years of age, yet one of the most powerful moguls on Wall Street. He also has a broken heart left over from high school. When a voice from his distant past rings him on Christmas Eve, will he allow his life to change for the better? Or will he remain closed off and isolated from the very love he needs to mend?

Aisling's Special Christmas Memory

I was raised by my grandfather, a prolific author, and began writing at the age of seven.

For Christmas that year my grandfather gave me two dictionaries, the Oxford and Webster's New International Dictionary. (c. 1943) Best gifts ever!

Info on Aisling Mancy

Aisling can be found on Facebook here.

Did you like his story? Tell him all about it on Facebook or via his blog.

Not read it yet? Download the anthology for FREE at Love Lane Books or All Romance eBooks


Mr RJ's Crap Joke Section

 Before I post the latest that is all BAD, in bad jokes, a Thank you to all who commented with their disappointment at the fact there were no jokes and an even bigger thank you to Letterman aka Nancy for filling the void and providing some jokes on the 16th.

We will start with Letterman's :).

How did the frozen chicken cross the road?
In a shopping bag

What do you get when you cross a centipede with a chicken?
Drumsticks for everyone!

Why did the fox cross the road?
To look for the chicken

followed by -

Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?
She wanted to stretch her legs.

 Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
She was afraid someone would caesar!

 Why did the rooster cross the road?
He wanted to impress the chicks!

Where are chicks born?
In Chick-cago.

Definitely one for Gay Rom Lit there!!!  More tomorrow :).

The Twenty Five Days of Christmas Competition

For the master post explaining prizes, etc, visit Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas. Don't forget every entry you make counts towards the grand prize on 25 December. So if you enter every day, you will have 24 chances for to win..

Today enter the competition to win a free RJ Scott e-book from RJ's backlist, or first sight of a new upcoming book.

Good Luck!!!!!

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Christmas Countdown 2013 - 17 December



My favourite Christmas Music 3rd of 10

Coming in at number 3, one of my most loved Coldplay song, the other being Paradise.

Today's featured Anthology Author is

Allan Jay with his story Christmas Angel

It's the lead up to Christmas and Shaun is looking for love in all the wrong places. With the help of his friend Matt he works his way towards the one present he'd like, but he's in for a surprise. Who will bring him some Christmas cheer? Will it be Santa Claus, an Elf, Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, or a Christmas Angel that he knows so well?

Allan's Special Christmas Memory

Christmas for me is about family, food and fun and I like to spend the day overdosing on all three. My favourite part of the season though is the tree. I like to make an effort on decorating the tree so that it's bright, sparkly and just the right side of gaudy.

Info on Allan Jay

Allan can be found on Facebook here.

Did you like his story? Tell him all about it on Facebook.

Not read it yet? Download the anthology for FREE at Love Lane Books or All Romance eBooks


Mr RJ's Crap Joke Section

WOW!  What a weekend!  RJ and I went out for our annual Christmas party with friends which was held in our local Theatre and we bumped into Brian May (guitarist from British Rock band Queen).  I'm not usually star struck but I understand the fan girling thing now :).  He let me shake his hand, bow before him and he seemed like a thoroughly decent chap but I can tell you that it made my evening. 

I had to spend Sunday helping family with some urgent unplanned DIY and of course the night before I had a bit too much to drink.  Couldn't drive so had a three mile walk home..long story plus I have the cold kindly donated by my son. Something had to give and unfortunately it was the jokes. I did manage the competition however :).

Well the jokes are back tonight and I'll give you a bumper helping to make up. BUT they are possibly the worst so far. First for Nancy 

How do you shoot a blue elephant?
With a blue elephant gun, of course.

How do you shoot a red elephant?
No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

 How do you shoot a green elephant?
Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

 How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
Ever seen a yellow elephant?!!!

Why are elephants wrinkled?
Have you ever tried to iron one?

What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck

What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow

What do you get if you cross an orange with a comedian?
Peels of laughter

Why is Europe like a frying pan?
Because it has Greece at the bottom

Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th

How many ears has Captain Kirk got?
Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre…
So the barman gives her one.

I went to the Canary Islands on holiday this year, didn't see one canary.
Going to the Virgin Islands next year, can't wait.

Mary and Joseph... now they had a stable relationship...

How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born? 
They had a weigh in a manger

I will stop now.... Promise.

The Twenty Five Days of Christmas Competition

For the master post explaining prizes, etc, visit Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas. Don't forget every entry you make counts towards the grand prize on 25 December. So if you enter every day, you will have 24 chances for to win..

Today enter the competition to win a $10 Amazon Voucher.

Good Luck!!!!!


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Christmas Countdown 2013 - 16 December

New York Christmas.

Originally written as weekly blog story, I took this concept and rewrote it as a book for Christmas 2012.  Alongside Worlds Collide it was my first foray into real self publishing and Love Lane Books was born.

The story of Chris and Daniel is set against New York City and follows as they reconnect after many years apart.  With a visit to the NYPD museum, a skate in Central Park and the lighting of the tree, this is my idea of perfect city Christmas.  Throw in a hostage situation, a shooting and predujice against one of the characters and New York Christmas suddenly becomes more than  falling in love.

What could be more romantic than unrealised young love finally being realised against the backdrop of Christmas in New York?





Today's featured Anthology Author is

Tom Alexander with his story Ivy Park

On the twenty first of December, Mark Cooper was making his way through Ivy Park for another day at work, when he came across a body washed up on the river bank.

After pulling the body to safety and finding the unconscious man was still alive, Mark thought his job was done.

But little did Mark know, that was just the beginning, and that he would end up playing a greater role in the unknown man’s life than he ever thought possible.

Tom's Special Christmas Memory

For me, Christmas is a time for family and friends to get together and celebrate the year that has gone by, to enjoy and give thanks for one another ...... and to eat lots and lots without feeling guilty!!!

Info on Tom Alexander

Tom can be found on Facebook here.

Did you like his story? Tell him all about it on Facebook.

Not read it yet? Download the anthology for FREE at Love Lane Books or All Romance eBooks

The Twenty Five Days of Christmas Competition

For the master post explaining prizes, etc, visit Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas. Don't forget every entry you make counts towards the grand prize on 25 December. So if you enter every day, you will have 24 chances for to win..

Today enter the competition to win a free RJ Scott e-book from RJ's backlist, or first sight of a new upcoming book

Good Luck!!!!!


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Christmas Countdown 2013 - 15 December



My favourite Christmas Music 4th of 10

Coming in at number 4 is a song that needs no explanation. This is an utterly perfect Christmas song and is likely at the top of many people's lists. Happy Christmas (War Is Over) - Lennon. A song not just for our Forces, but for the people at home.

Today's featured Anthology Author is

AJ Henderson with her story Christmas Reunion

Eric hadn’t looked forward to Christmas so much in a long time. After living away from his family for several years, he was excited to be moving back home in time to spend the holidays with them. A surprise from his past turns an already amazing Christmas into one that he’ll never forget.

AJ Henderson's Special Christmas Memory

One of my favorite parts of the Christmas season is my annual day trip to Chicago with one of my best friends. There's nothing else quite like Michigan Avenue dressed up for the holidays.

Info on AJ Henderson

AJ can be found on her blog here.

Did you like her story? Leave a message on her blog to let her know or Facebook here.

Not read it yet? Download the anthology for FREE at Love Lane Books or All Romance eBooks

Mr RJ's Crap Joke Section

RJ.  She loves him...
Today I thought I would present you with something a little different.  Some good old English comedy with a Christmas theme courtesy of YouTube!  What bought it to mind is it features one of my all time favourite cracker jokes for its sheer stupidity and groan quality.

What is the fastest vegatable?
A runner bean

This video has become a bit of a family tradition around Christmas time when Mrs RJ, Daughter RJ and myself sit down to get ourselves in the Christmas spirit. I was lucky enough to find it on DVD a few years back. I orignally had it on VHS!!!!

It's called The Homemade Xmas Video and it stars Griff Rhys Jones and the late Mel Smith.  It focuses on a stereotypical lower class family living in England and the traditions that surround their Christmas. Shot exclusively on a Camcorder that were all so popular in the mid 80's it also stars a young Nigel Harman who later went on to star in Eastenders and in the last series of Downton Abbey.  See if you can spot him.  RJ thought he was a Sex God when he starred in Eastenders and I'm sure she would love to see him feature on one of her covers.
Nigel Harman in Downton Abbey

If you love Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones you will love this. If you like English comedy then I think you will enjoy.


So with no further ado:-




I'll post part 2 in a few days time :).

Finally a few more jokes and a quick mention to garnetyuna who posted in the comments.  Thank you for your great comment and RJ and I are always in awe of people who can speak more than one language. Glad you enjoy the jokes and as Lord of The Rings fans we loved the Boromir line although we need daughter Briony's boyfriend Tom to say it.  Has a very deep voice :).

Why was Tigger’s head in the toilet?
He was looking for pooh!

What do you call a woman sitting in a bath of Martini?
Olive

How do hedgehogs make love?
Very carefully.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate!

The Twenty Five Days of Christmas Competition

For the master post explaining prizes, etc, visit Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas. Don't forget every entry you make counts towards the grand prize on 25 December. So if you enter every day, you will have 24 chances for to win..

Today enter the competition to win a signed copy of New York Christmas and a RJ Scott Pen.

Good Luck!!!!!

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Christmas Countdown 2013 - 14 December

My favourite Christmas Movies

White Christmas - Bing Crosby

Now this brings back memories of when I was tiny and there was a choice between two channels on our TV and they would show a Christmas film, either a James Bond or White Christmas... or The Wizard of Oz come to think of it.

IMDB Entry














Today's featured Anthology Author is

Hollis Shiloh with her story The Christmas Mansion

In a world of gas lighting and horse-drawn carriages, Rex is fixing up an old mansion to host a Christmas party for his wealthy family's business. He meets a gentle, insecure magician named Gene, who's come to work on the crumbling mansion's moldings. He doesn't expect to fall in love.

Hollis Shiloh's Special Christmas Memory

For me, Christmas is a bright spot at a dark time of year, a reminder of family and sharing, light and music, caring and hope. I love Christmas stories because they're almost always filled with reflection and happiness. I also like snow, frosted windows, the smell of pine, and Christmas carols.

Info on Hollis Shiloh

Hollis can be found on her blog here.

Did you like her story? Leave a message on her blog to let her know.

Not read it yet? Download the anthology for FREE at Love Lane Books or All Romance eBooks

Mr RJ's Crap Joke Section

 Good Evening everyone. Hope you are all having a great Friday.  Mrs RJ and myself have been very busy this afternoon with the release of Texas 5 and I'm now writing this with just under an hour to go before this post goes live. Mrs RJ has gone to bed (she's not feeling too good and seems like she has a bad cold).  Looks like I'll be getting Man Flu anytime soon :). I'm yawning away but on the TV, to keep me company, is the Graham Norton show with his guests Jamie Oliver, Ben Stiller and Martin Freeman.  More comedy for a Friday night!

I'll start you with two jokes I was quite impressed with.  The first was on the Radio this morning from an 8 year old.  Very clever :)

Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It went down the lane and turned into a field.

the second on TV last night

Why did the pie goto the Dentist?
To get a filling

 Boom Boom :).

To finish I present to you a selection of the jokes left in the comments with thanks to the contributors :-

from Nancy :-

How do you scare a snowman?
With a hair dryer

Why did the cactus cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken's back.

Why did the duck cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.

hmmmm.  Thinking we might have to have some Why did the ???? cross the road jokes.

and from Paula

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas.
Sandy Claws

 and from Sharon

How do sheep in Mexico say "Merry Christmas"?
Fleece Navidad

What did one sheep say to the other sheep?
"after ewe"

Until the next time......

The Twenty Five Days of Christmas Competition

For the master post explaining prizes, etc, visit Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas. Don't forget every entry you make counts towards the grand prize on 25 December. So if you enter every day, you will have 24 chances for to win..

Today enter the competition to win a $10 Amazon Voucher.  In addition, a further entry pulled out of the hat will receive two free eBooks from Hollis Shiloh's back catlalog.

Good Luck!!!!!


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Christmas Countdown 2013 - 13 December



My favourite Christmas Music 5th of 10

Coming in at number 5 is Jona Lewie (and no I have no idea where he has been since) with Stop The Cavalry.

It was released in December 1980 and made it to Number 3 in the UK Charts.  Two John Lennon songs made it to second and first positions following his death earlier in the month :(.

This song is all WW1 and nuclear and OMG it is so FREAKING catchy! I adore this song soooooo much...

Today's featured Anthology Author is

S.A. Garcia with her story Paid with a Full Moon

How far will one lover go to please his man? When landscaper Rob’s friend and co-worker Manny makes Rob an indecent proposal, Rob refrains from punching out Manny’s lights and instead agrees. After all, the house-poor Rob knows how much his lover Tony admires Shelia, Manny’s cherry red 1966 Mustang convertible. Shelia will be the perfect gift for Tony’s Christmas birthday. Giving Manny the sexual fantasy of his life won’t hurt anyone’s feelings, right? Little does Rob know…

S.A. Garcia's Special Christmas Memory

For past thirty odd years, Christmas is really special to me because it's also my partner's birthday.

The duo inspired my story, although I'd never have the nerve for something that audacious.

Info on S.A. Garcia

SA can be found on her blog here.

Did you like her story? Leave a message on her blog to let her know.

Not read it yet? Download the anthology for FREE at Love Lane Books or All Romance eBooks

Mr RJ's Crap Joke Section

 Tonights section is inspired by Annette who seemed to enjoy the joke from the 11th.  Yes it's "What do you call a man/woman/other".  You will see what I mean in a moment and yes they feature in our Christmas Crackers so I thought they were fair game for the section.

Here goes:-

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?
Doug

 What do you call a man without a spade on his head?
Douglas

 What do you call a man with a brown paper suit?
Russell

 What do you call a man with a small dick?
Justin

What do you call a woman with a breeze on her head ?
Gail

What do you call a woman with a tortiose on her head ?
Shelley

What do you call a girl with a sunlamp on her head?
Tanya

What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Doyouthinkhesaurus

What do you call a blind dinosaurs dog?
Doyouthinkhesaurus Rex

Thanks again for all the comments and jokes relating to this section.  I read them all and smile :).

Until the next time....

The Twenty Five Days of Christmas Competition

For the master post explaining prizes, etc, visit Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas. Don't forget every entry you make counts towards the grand prize on 25 December. So if you enter every day, you will have 24 chances for to win..

Today enter the competition to win a full set of Texas postcards signed, and a RJ Scott pen.

Good Luck!!!!!


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Christmas Countdown 2013 - 12 December

My favourite Christmas Movies

Mel Gibson and Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon, way back in 1987

Like Die Hard, this isn't a story about Christmas, more a film set at Christmas. I love the sleigh bells, the tree, the cat, the dog, the buddy buddy, the fight in the rain, Mel's acting (even though he's a dick, back then he was sex. Just that. Sex.)


IMDB Entry http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093409/


(1987... did I mention it was 1987... jeez... so old)









Today's featured Anthology Author is

Gary Hendrickson with his story Our Best Christmas.

Jackson swore he’d make it up to Kevin over what happen last year, but trouble at work is making it difficult to follow through on his plan then an unexpected gift on Christmas Eve changes everything.

Gary's Special Christmas Memory

"if it doesn't move decorate it"

When it comes to Christmas no part of the house is safe as my sister found out one year when she arrived home and found a decorated tree hanging in her bedroom window, there was no place for it to sit.

Info on Gary Hendrickson

Gary can be found via Facebook here.  Let him know what you thought of his story.

Not read it yet? Download the anthology for FREE at Love Lane Books or All Romance eBooks

Mr RJ's Crap Joke Section

What have you started Nancy?

 I must admit I like a good joke.  But I particularly like a good rude joke and Nancy posted one in the comments on the 10th.  In case you missed it, here it is....

What comes before Christmas Eve?
Christmas Adam

My kind of humor. So on this note, tonight I present to you a selection of rude Christmas jokes....

Why doesn’t Santa have any children?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it’s down the chimney. 

What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies?
Snowballs.

What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?
They go into town, and blow a few bucks.

I joined a nudist colony last week.  First few days were the hardest.

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?
Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

OK. So they're not that rude but I don't want anyone taking offense.  Just take a gate instead :)

And with such bad humor all round, I will wish you all Good Night. Before I go, thank you to all who comment on this section and post jokes of their own.  If there was a deathly silence this feature would probably have stopped by now.  If you want it to stop, you know what to do :).

The Twenty Five Days of Christmas Competition

For the master post explaining prizes, etc, visit Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas. Don't forget every entry you make counts towards the grand prize on 25 December. So if you enter every day, you will have 24 chances for to win..

Today enter the competition to win a $10 Amazon Voucher.

Good Luck!!!!!

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Celebrating Christmas with RJ. Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas

Competition starts 1 December 

Christmas is a very special time of the year for me. So alongside the release of Christmas Delights, I'm very excited to announce that we are going to run a daily competition from the 1st through to Christmas day.

You can enter each day on the post that will appear at one minute past midnight on that day (GMT, London). For example the competition for 1 December will run from 00:01 to 23:59 GMT on that day.


Every day, Mr RJ will collect the entries and select a winner. If we haven't been able to contact the winner within a couple of days a second winner will be chosen and so on until someone claims the prize.

Watch www.rjscott.co.uk each day for winner information and this main post here (Link for your reference) will be updated with winners daily and announced on my Facebook and twitter.

Then, on the 25th December we will collate all entries into one big pot and select three lucky winners for the special prizes.

If you enter each day, this will give you 24 chances to win one of the grand prizes...

Prizes range from vouchers to spend in Amazon, free eBooks, hand signed books, to one off prizes like bound hand edited manuscripts, naming a character in a book with input into the characterization topped off with a mention in the dedication.

Every day each new post on this blog will tell you where to enter to win and each post will have links to authors from the anthology, news, blog visits and snippets of my favorite Christmas music, films and books.

I hope you enjoy and GOOD LUCK!

Date Daily Prizes from RJ Scott
Winners TBA
Sunday 1 Signed copy of the Supernatural Bounty Hunters Volume 1 including The Vampire Contract, The Guilty Werewolf and The Warlock's Secret
Jenn W
Monday 2 Free RJ Scott e-book from RJ's backlist, or first sight of a new upcoming book
Lisa B
Tuesday 3 $10 Amazon Voucher
Nancy S
Wednesday 4 A full set of signed Sanctuary Postcards, and a RJ Scott pen
Helén J
Thursday 5 Free RJ Scott e-book from RJ's backlist, or first sight of a new upcoming book
Charlotte M
Friday 6 A signed copy of New York Christmas and a RJ Scott Pen
Alina P
Saturday 7 A signed hand colored RJ Scott doodle, your choice of ten signed postcards and RJ Scott pen
Debra G
Sunday 8 $10 Amazon Voucher
Juli-Anna D
Monday 9 A signed set of Sanctuary postcards and a RJ Scott Pen
Michelle M
Tuesday 10 $10 Amazon Voucher
Lauren L
Wednesday 11 Free RJ Scott e-book from RJ's backlist, or first sight of a new upcoming book
Nongnuch S
Thursday 12 $10 Amazon Voucher
Trix
Friday 13 A full set of Texas postcards signed, and a RJ Scott pen
Paul W
Saturday 14 $10 Amazon Voucher
Two free eBooks from Hollis Shiloh
Denise D
Emese L
Sunday 15 A signed copy of New York Christmas and a RJ Scott Pen
Brandylin
Monday 16 Free RJ Scott e-book from RJ's backlist, or first sight of a new upcoming book
Michell D
Tuesday 17 $10 Amazon Voucher
Chris M
Wednesday 18 Free RJ Scott e-book from RJ's backlist, or first sight of a new upcoming book
Trish H
Thursday 19 Harrod's teddy bear and a RJ Scott pen
Hanne
Friday 20 $10 Amazon Voucher
Bronwyn
Saturday 21 Free RJ Scott e-book from RJ's backlist, or first sight of a new upcoming book
StormyMonday
Sunday 22 A signed copy of The Christmas Throwaway and a RJ Scott Pen Garnetyuna
Monday 23 $10 Amazon Voucher
Theresa T
Tuesday 24 A signed copy of Building The Pack trilogy, signed by Amber Kell, Stephani Hecht and RJ Scott
Wednesday 25 GRAND DRAW

 There is no competition entry this day. The grand draw will be from every entry collected in the previous 24 days.

 The first name drawn *from the hat* will have the choice from the following five prizes. The second will have second choice of the remaining prizes until five winners are matched to prizes.

Prize 1 - Kindle Paperwhite or US$ equivalent of vouchers,

Prize 2 - The original hand drawn by RJ map of the airport from Sanctuary 7, World's Collide and a hand edited copy of the final manuscript check.

Prize 3 - You tell me the character, details, name even, height, looks, inspiration and he will become one of the main characters in a Bodyguard OR a SEAL Heroes book. He could be the bodyguard, a SEAL, or a client, or a friend. Dedication at front of book.

Prize 4 - Your name used as a secondary character in the next Bodyguard book, due out March 2014

Prize 5 - A hand edited copy of the final manuscript check for Crooked Tree Ranch and RJ Scott Pen



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